Hello all, As some of you know and many of you do not, Sandra and I are expecting our 3rd child in May... OK, I'm sure many of you are thinking or thought... "What!? don't they have 2 kids under 4?" Um, yes we do.... and "WHAT?!?" is exactly what we thought when we found out. Needless to say, it wasn't in our plan. At first, the surprise of having a 3rd seemed a little overwhelming. We found out when we were in Hawaii,... Sandra was getting used to being able to have a glass of wine or a mai tai when she wanted. We were both getting quite used to the idea of being a nice neat little nuclear family. Two kids, one boy, one girl. That was it. Now that initial shock seems so trivial. We started getting used to the idea of having a 3rd as most do and started adjusting our view of the future to include 3 car seats, Anna as our "middle child" and joked that the third one was probably the one that would take care of us when we were old. Since we've had our children relatively late in life, part of the recommended routine with each of our children was to go through some genetic testing to check for any abnormalities common with older parents. With Ian and Anna, the idea that our children would be anything but completely healthy was terrifying, but with the third, I must admit these tests seemed routine. Which is why we were particularly shocked to find out that our third little baby, a little girl we found out, would be born with an extra chromosome called Trisomy 21 - Down's Syndrome. I respect anyone that might know exactly what to do in this situation but faced with it ourselves, I can't say the road ahead was comletely clear. The doctors had to inform us about our "options". One of which was to terminate the pregnancy. This is not something Sandra or I felt comfortable with... but it was also hard to discard the thought altogether. What an easy fix it would be, but was it right? What about our other kids, what about our extended families, what about finances, our house, what about our new baby and her right to live, grow and be loved. We dug deep and discovered what we truely believed. We believed that she has a right to live, and that we had enough love in our family to share with her and give her a home, two parents and siblings that love her. And we knew we had an extensive network of loving friends and family that would be there for us and for her. It was time to adjust the view of our future again. My good friend Rich has a son with Down's. I met his son Nicolas and he is an amazing little guy that set me straight. He is a kid, a great little kid with a great cheerful smile like his dad. When I met him, he laughed at me being a little goofy... like I tend to do when I'm around kids. Rich told me he doesn't treat him differently than his daughter, gives him the same opportunities and the same challenges that any child his age would face. Rich told me that he may take a little longer to learn a few things but that he first and foremost saw Nicolas as his son... not a burden, not someone with "special needs", but his son. I knew I would have the same view once I met my new daughter. As the pregnancy went on, so did the tests. The next test was a detailed ultrasound to look for any other "defects" with the baby. The doctors recommende we have an echocardiogram for a more detailed look at the baby's heart. Long story short, she had a heart defect called an AV canal. Basically a hole in her heart that would require surgery at about 3-4 months of age. The good news from the cardiologist was that it was fixable, sure it was heart surgery, but afterwards, she should recover and live a normal life without subsequent sugeries. We named her already. Her name is Emma. Ian and Anna give Sandra's belly ("the baby") a kiss goodnight. We have prepared a room with new wood floors and trim and planned to rearrange the house appropriately to welcome Emma. Ian is looking forward to having a new little sister. Now Sandra is at 32 weeks into her pregancy. Last week we had another detailed ultrasound to check for the growth of the baby... and the doctors found yet another new hurdle. Emma has fluid that has been building up aroung her lungs and abdomen. Another echocardiogram was completed and the cardiologist told us he didn't think it was attributed to the AV canal defect in her heart. In my ignorance, I was relieved. But the doctor told us he was "sorry to give us this news". As it turns out, since the fluid (known as fetal Hydrops) is not due to the heart condition, that also means it is likely related to her chromosomal condition.... which also means it is not likely to go away even if they could treat it. The complications of this extra fluid include underdevelopment of the lungs and probable heart failure. In other words, the chances Emma will survive are rather small. Here is probably the best excerpt I've found regarding the type of Hydrops we're faced with: Link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1902927?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=5&log$=relatedreviews&logdbfrom=pubmed "Twenty-five babies with nonimmune hydrops fetalis were born during a 20-year period from 1967 to 1987 (1/1475). Sixteen were live-born, only three survived. Although hydrops can be caused by a myriad of diseases, a simple classification is proposed in order to allow efficient diagnostic workup. For the majority of cases of nonimmune hydrops no cause can be found. Vascular causes are most frequent, followed by chromosomal, placental, hematological, infectious, and a miscellaneous group of causes. Of the cases reviewed fetal causes dominate in 95 per cent of cases. Maternal causes are relatively rare and consist mainly of infections and diabetes. In order to reduce the high mortality rate of 98 per cent one should aim at early diagnosis of hydrops fetalis, extensive investigation of both the fetus and the mother, and referral to a center for intensive perinatal care." Given the odds, we have chosen to have Sandra home and leave this in God's hands. If Emma can survive to full term (at least another few weeks) and survive birth, the doctors can then treat her and it will then be God's will that she may stay with us. The alternative is to submit Sandra into the hospital full time for intensive perinatal care and to monitor the baby closely and if her heart begins to fail, submit Sandra into an emergency cessarian which does not increase Emma's odds by much and places Sandra in unwanted risk. I'm writing this because I know many of you may have questions and I wanted to provide some answers for those that are curious. I would also like to request your prayers for us, for Emma and for Ian and Anna as we go through these coming weeks. I trust that this will go as God sees fit.